Love Situation _________________________________________________

Friday, March 30, 2007

I miss you..
Sekai chuu doko ni anata wa iru no kurikaeshi sagashitsuzuketeru

You never lend me a picture of you.. so I'll go look for 'em instead.. I'm glad Patti's of help.. TT^TT

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Your Guardian Angel

When I see your smile
tears roll down my face
I can't replace

And now that I'm strong I have figured out
how this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul,
and I know I'll find deep inside me, I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all,
even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's ok

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
and stars are falling all for us
days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all,
even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cause you're my
you're my, my
my true love
my whole heart
please don't throw that away

Cause I'm here, for you
please don't walk away and
please tell me you'll stay, stay..

Use me as you will
pull my strings just for a thrill
and I know I'll be okay
though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to heaven

Guardian Angel.. Guardian Devil.. what's the difference? You're still cute.. XD And that's still you.. XD What's more.. You are my guardian ^________^ Ne.. daddy?

LOVE & JOY

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Honto ni gomenasai minna-san..
No matter how easy you guys could forgive me.. I'll never find a way to forgive myself.. I know I've been unfair.. but.. please bare with me.. you guys won't really lose that much happiness, right..?

Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, and so hypnotizing
I am captivated
I am

Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now
The things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that I am

So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away

Slight hope
Dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption

I stil need more.. Ryan and Meg are not enough.. hey.. I'm really sorry.. Gahh..

LOVE & JOY

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Gomenasai.. Honto ni Gomenasai..
We'll be fine.. I pray soo..

Parokya ni Edgar - Sorry Na
Too old to be here.. but this song's good..

Sorry na kung nagalit ka di naman sinasadya
Kung may nasabi man ako init lang ng ulo
Pipilitin kong magbago pangako sa iyo

Sorry na nakikinig ka ba? Malamang sawa ka na
Sa ugali kong ito na ayaw magpatalo
At parang sirang tambutso na hindi humihinto

Sorry na talaga kung ako'y medyo tanga
Hindi ako nag-iisip na-uuna ang galit
Sorry na talaga sa aking nagawa
Tanggap ko na mali ako wag sanang magtampo
Sorry na

Sorry na wag kang madadala
Alam kong medyo nahihirapan ka
Na ibigin ang isang katulad kong parang timang
Na paulit-ulit kang hindi sadyang nasasaktan

Sorry na saan ka pupunta?
Please naman wag kang mawawala
Kapag ako ay iwan mo mamamatay ako
Pagkat hawak mo sa iyong kamay ang puso ko

Mahal kita sobrang mahal kita
Wala na akong pwedeng sabihin pang iba
Kundi sorry talaga di ko sinasadya
Talagang sobrang mahal kita
Wag kang mawawala
Sorry na

"My dear, every place the city was relocated became a war zone. At one point it was moved to Antartica, but the penguins - usually very pleasant - couldn't stand the bickering, either. They became hostile and the Keftiu had to be rescued. Can you imagine? Rescued? From penguins?" "Try as she might, Sabrina just couldn't imagine it. She'd seen a lot of bizzare things since becoming a witch, but a murderous hoard of angry penguins proved a strain even for her" -SABRINA The Teenage Witch

It really made me laugh and all better stuffs.. XD Hay.. I wish everything between us will be mmkay once more.. I want you all hapuu and stuffs.. the way we used to be.. not the way we are now.. and not the way you used to be.. *sigh* I'll trade anything.. just so you'll be yourself once more.. trying to be hapuu is hard.. 'cause no matter how hard you try.. it'll only sum up.. *sigh* I don't want you to feel what I felt.. and what I'm feeling.. 'cause if we're both like that.. one has to keep it balance.. or we'll fall apart.. so.. let's switch places.. just so we could be hapuu once more.. I'm really sorry.. for all the mean words I've said..

---------------------------------------------

Lost track of everything na.. So yes..
March 19-20 | Peace Camp
March 21-22 | Filming our project in Filipino; spend time in Intramuros.. one of the best days in my entire life..
March 23 | Clearance day.. we'll be returning at school though..
5 straight days.. I ran out of pants actually.. XD Good thing I found more..

Damn.. I'll be having Remedial Class.. *sigh*
March 21 | Hapuu Birthday Gary~

I didn't knew I could edit the time and date when I posted this.. woot~! Just found out.. XD Lame-oh~ Now I can finally set things right.. XD

LOVE & JOY

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Sunday
Go! Babystars~ *Woot*

Hai hai~
I should really go and yes.. be hapuu.. I shall.. 'cause I have too.. I'll do my very best.. even if I'm badly hurt.. I'll make it.. I love you.. and that's enough reason to be happy.. but then again.. if I see.. hear.. something.. very unpleasant... bare with me.. if I cry and get all moody that time.. remind me the things you use to say.. even if.. I doubt it somehow.. I'll realize.. sooner or later.. that you weren't really doing anything wrong.. but yes.. ever since that day.. when you went back.. when I heard what happen.. I'll tell you honestly.. I was never sure.. never.. especially when you told me those words.. even before the things you told me in YM.. you said something a lot more worse.. and it hurt a lot.. di ko na lang sinabi sau.. I don't want you to mind me that much.. but yes.. now I'm telling you.. ever since that very day.. I was badly hurt.. I guess.. those were really the reasons why I hurt myself.. and I'm sorry.. sorry.. if what you told me in YM added more weight.. and sorry.. since.. it grew much more heavier.. everyday.. and I don't like this.. but I'll try to change it..

Hnnn.. honestly.. I never hated anyone.. never did I.. 'cause I don't have the right to do it.. you guys have your own freedom... and I don't own you.. I guess.. I was just being stupid.. and annoying.. and.. possesive.. and I'm sorry.. I hope I'll be mmkay from now.. yes.. dont' mind.. I'm fine..

The Babystars - Sunday
Yakitate!! Japan
Ending Theme

Tsukai furusareta "aishiteru" mo kimi wo omotte kuchi ni sureba
Konna ni suteki na hibiki ni naru kimi dake no tame ni aru kotoba
Hidamari de sunday arikitari no itsumo to onaji kyou wa sunday
Itsu made mo nante sotto negau soshite kimi wa shaberitsuzukeru

Watashi no doko ga sonna ni suki na no? ikinari nandai wo kimi ga dasu kara
Karite kita eiga hitomazu tomete majimaji to kimi wo miru yo

Mainichi mitetemo tarinai kurai sakihokoru egao ga daisuki desu
Igai to kiyase suru gokujou bodei iu made mo naku daisuki desu

Sorette gaiken bakkari kanjin no nakami wa dou na no yo?
Funman yarukatanai kimi ga hanaiki mo araku okoru kedo
Hontou wa motto motto motto aru kedo mo
Umaku wa ienain da naa kore ga
Suki ni naru no ni ryuu wa iranai daro
Sokora hen wa nazo tte koto de kanben shite

Tsukai furusareta "aishiteru" mo kimi wo omotte kuchi ni sureba
Konna ni suteki na hibiki ni naru kimi dake no tame ni aru kotoba
Hidamari de sunday arikitari no itsumo to onaji kyou wa sunday
Nanigenai jikan ga sugite yuku soshite futari wa nagomitsuzukeru

Tsuyogari na kimi ga tokidoki miseru hakanage na namida nya shirohata desu
Nani mo iwanakerya iwanai dake ni yosomi nan de dekinain da yo

Kanashimi da no kurushimi da no
Sorya ikiterya yappari iroiro aru kedo
Nanigenaku kimi ga iu "ganbatte" ni chikara moratteru yo
Moshi mo chiisana senaka fueru toki ni wa boku ga sugu dakishimeru kara
Mado kara mieru keshiki kawatte ittemo
Neguse no hidoi kimi no mama de soba ni ite

Tsukai furusareta "daikirai" mo kimi ga fukurete kuchi ni sureba
Hantai no imi ni kikoeru no sa boku dake no tame ni aru kotoba
Hidamari de sunday arikitari no itsumo to onaji kyou wa sunday
Aratamete iu yo kimi no koto wo donna toki datte aishiteru

Itsumo to onaji sunday
Arikitari no sunday
Demo tokubetsu na sunday

LOVE & JOY

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Nightmare
Mahgod.. everything's going suckay..

Dammit.. why of all dreams.. why in the world did I remember it..? This is one of my goddamit stupid dreams that'll always be a fucking nuisance in my entire life.. of all those damn dreams.. why the hell did I remember you..? This has got to be the 2nd most dreadful dream I have.. and the same thing goes over and over again.. and every time I dream.. I only get to remember the worse.. if I ever get another stupid horrifying dream.. thrice wouldn't be good.. I'll fucking do something wrong.. so I could finally stop dreaming those goddamn nigthmares.. shit.. this is sooo annoying.. I will not sleep tonight.. and I give you my word.. goddamn this life..

Blah.. enough about that stupid fucking dream.. lately.. I've been trying to occupy myself with Death Note.. and on watching Ouran once more.. which does not work.. my stupid mind won't stop thinking about him.. it's not really nuisance.. it's prolly more like rhapsody.. yeah.. but then again.. I'm suffering enough.. on the thought that.. nothing would go mmkay anymore.. plus the weight of the stupid nightmare.. sigh.. I fucking need some sleep.. but I don't wanna.. I'll prolly go read a book nlng.. yes.. I have to finish 5 books.. 5 books that I forgot to read.. for over a year.. sigh.. stupid life..

I wish you wouldn't be this distant
You seem so far away
You're getting colder every passing day
I can no loger feel your warmth
Was it you?
Or was it me?
Can we please stop pushing each other away?

LOVE & JOY

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Hnnnnn..
We are engaged.. in a way.. O.o..

Hnnn.. I guess, nothing's going out the way it should be.. everything is somewhat wrong.. and I really don't know.. onto.. what to do.. everything's a mistake.. and I have to make it right.. but look.. I only have two days left.. god.. that's unfair.. blah.. all I could say is I'm sorry.. I really am.. hai~.. I feel bad.. and I felt it even more when you apologized.. 'cause you never did anything wrong.. that's why.. I don't even get it.. why were you sorry and all.. does not make any sense.. not at all.. and by that.. I felt even worse.. I don't know why.. you felt sorry.. it made me feel guilty.. kasi.. I was all quite that time.. and I never even apologized.. so yes.. I'm so sorry for being stupid.. nothing's going right anymore.. obviously.. I don't do the right things kasi.. or more likely.. I never did anything right.. I'll never be mmkay now..

Kokoro ni, chiisana, hana ga, saiteru,
Kimi kara, moratta, karenai hana ga,
Shinjiru koto mo, kowagaranai kurai,
Tsuyoku nareta kara...
Kimi ni aete, ureshikatta...
Tsunaida te ga, hokoridatta,
Ima wa, betsubetsu no sora, miagete itemo,
Hora, arukeru...hitori demo...Kanashii, toki hodo, warau, watashi o,
Nani mo, iwanai de, daite kureta ne,
Koori tsuita douaga, sotto hiraku you na,
Sonna, kigashita yo...Kimi ni aete, ureshikatta...
Kodoku sae mo, wakachi aeta,
Ima mo, kono sora no shita, tsunagatte iru to,
Sou, omoeru...hanarete mo...Arigato mo, ienakatta...
Yakusoku sae, dekinakatta,
Dakedo, ano hi to onaji, kaze ga fuitara,
Mata, kanarazu...aeru yo ne...

LOVE & JOY

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Wow

It's been a great day yesterday.. and yes.. I'm glad everything went right.. though not really.. yes.. I'm glad Meg was there to keep me company.. ^_____^ And yeah.. I think that yesterday was my best birthday ever.. hnnn.. but come to think of it.. I've gone older.. hahaha.. though I'm quite disappointed.. on one thing.. yeah.. not that one.. the other one.. something that you do not know.. mhmm.. anywoy.. thank you people for making yesterday very special.. ^__^ Thanks for teh gift Meg~

LOVE & JOY

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Hnnnnn O.o
Die Aida!! Curse you Broadway Musical Production thingy!!

A day that'll never happen again.. this is like.. one of teh best days ever.. hahaha.. XD Indeed.. he got stuck with me.. and yeah.. most likely.. I know he was bored.. it was pretty obvious.. but yeah.. XD Too bad I didn't.. hahaha~ I am sooo glad that he's with me almost teh whole day.. ^______^ It was really amazing~ Hahaha~ But yeah.. I'm all too greedy.. but yeah.. it won't happen again nman e.. this is like.. the first and last.. I know it won't happen again.. but I wish it would.. XD Hay~ So yes.. sorry nga pla.. same to Tilo.. they obviously got uberbored.. poor Tilo.. TT^TT.. soo yes.. sorry for dragging you almost everywhere.. honto ni gomen.. it won't happen naman ulit e.. so yeah.. you don't have to worry.. XD Hnnnn..

So yes.. thank you for teh company.. for all teh pinches I've received.. for your cuteness and wafuness.. for baring boredom.. and for understanding all my whines.. thank you so muchie ^_____^

Mhmm.. thank you rin for being there.. always.. ^______^ Thank you for your T-shirt.. sorry for putting a nasty smell on it.. mhmm.. gomen.. and yes.. thank you for loving me~ Arigatou~

Sigh.. XD.. I really have nothing else to say.. hahaha~ masyado lng ata akong masaya.. XD Hahaha~ Gomen tlga.. dahil sobrang mapili ako sa damit.. sorry tlga.. tpos un.. I ended up with the same thing lng.. xD Hay.. sorry tlga.. and yes.. thank you for baring all those whines.. hai~ Soo yeah.. I wish matuloy ung sa Saturday.. but I won't be complaining n nun.. hnn.. sorry nga rin pla for all teh uncomfortable moments.. gomen~ Hay.. so yeah.. basta.. sorry for boring you.. Sweeeeeee~ Thank you for teh butterflies~

LOVE & JOY

Monday, March 05, 2007

Mmmmm.. Cookies!
Hapuu Monthsary~

Yes.. our 3rd monthsary wasn't really that nice.. and I'm sorry for being an ass.. I'm sorry.. I really never.. hay.. I'm sorry.. I wasn't thinking again.. I totally forgot.. and forgetting is not an excuse.. since.. once you start to forget.. that would only mean that.. that thing wasn't really important.. and I'm stupid.. Shamir's important.. and the things he gets mad at are important too.. since.. that's a part of him.. and that.. if we.. if I.. really want us to have a nice and happy monthsary.. I shouldn't have done that in the first place.. and I'm really sorry.. I can't even.. do what I told Lexi and you.. and this is stupid.. and I'm annoying.. and stupid.. I don't even know if I'm still doing things right.. I'm sorry for being such a failure.. but I am trying my best.. but I know I could still do better.. and I'm sorry for not showing that much effort.. I'm stupid kasi.. and.. hay naku.. I am sooo hating myself for eternity if this happens again.. 'cause I really don't want to loose you.. and losing you would only mean.. the end of the world for me.. I've never ever met a guy like you.. I guy who suits my needs.. and a guy who is willing to take all the risk.. just to met my expectations.. you're too cute to be mine.. and it's sooo wrong.. I never ever did anything good for you.. and I never ever met your expectations.. hnn.. let me say this.. for the last time.. and I hope I will say this for the last time.. hay.. Shamir.. I know someone can love you better than I could.. for I know my limitations.. and I know what I could only give.. I mean.. I could give you everything you want.. if I could.. but I have this fear.. this sort of fear inside me.. hnnn.. but I could die for you.. though.. that's not really an important thing.. but.. that's the least I could do.. and I'm really sorry.. so sorry kanina.. soo sorry kahapon.. so sorry for everything I did wrong.. sorry for hiding stuffs.. I am willing to tell you what made me all sad kahapon.. 'cause I fucking don't want you to do the same.. soooo sorry.. so sorry for lying.. so sorry for hiding.. and sooo sorry.. for making you feel bad.. sooo sorry.. for being all useless and useless.. I really am sorry..

Hay.. hnnn.. so yeah.. enough about that.. let's see teh good side then.. I finally got to drink pepsi.. I got a birthday present~ an early birthday present.. xD Thank you uncle~!! and yes.. we are both mmkay n.. hay~ thankgahd.. ^_________^ But sadly.. he still got mad.. and it's suckay.. hnnn.. this is sad.. but.. yeah.. it's all good.. he even smells like cookies~ yum yum cookies~ I envy him.. he always smells good.. while I'm not.. and it's suckay.. hnnn..

LOVE & JOY

I'm fine

Hey, I'm all fine and unlonely.. yeah.. I'm not lonely.. as long as I still have Meg.. loneliness will never occur.. hay.. sorry about hanging up.. I just really have to.. 'cause talking to you is like.. torture.. it'll just make me all sad when I stay for even a minute more.. sorry.. you don't really have to understand me.. nor will you have to forgive me.. it's mmkay.. I understand.. I've always been a bother.. especially to you.. Carla.. Lei.. Mickey and Meg.. I guess.. ruining my life would make up with all the mistakes I've made.. with all the people I've hurt.. and for making you stay up all night.. don't worry.. I was too.. (but yeah.. my life isn't enough..)

Hnnn.. so yeah.. I don't have any problems.. wla nman e.. haaaaaaayyyyyyyyy.. sorry for making you all worried and stuffs.. kalimutan mu n un.. kalimutan mu n rin aqu.. this sadness I feel inside will be over as soon as I leave this world.. hnnn.. I hope so.. but then again.. I'll be happy.. so long as I know.. blah.. nevermind.. sigh.. just enjoy life and forget about me.. sorry for being a burden.. it'll be better if you'll just hang out with your friends.. worry about the people you care.. instead of worring about me.. don't put me in your list.. 'cause I won't go dying.. that's like.. the 6th thing in my 'to-do list' so yeah.. I still haven't even done teh 1st one.. so yeah.. it'll be a pretty long way to go..

So yeah.. sorry about teh mean words I've said.. and yes.. sorry for making you feel bad.. you did nothing wrong.. well.. you've never done anything wrong.. so what's the point in worrying..? Don't put the blame on you.. this wasn't your fault.. nor was it anyone else's fault.. hnnn.. so yeah.. sorry again.. same goes for Emo and Lei.. sorry guys.. really.. I am.. soo yeah.. get well soon..

---------------------------------------------------

"No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved."

"For a few moments in my life you've made me feel as if I truly meant something to someone."

"It takes a second to say I love you, but a lifetime to show it."

"Always I'll hold you dear to my heart, and promise you never shall we part. You will always be the other half of me, as I continue to love you endlessly."

"The joy of loving always heals the hurt of loving."

LOVE & JOY