Thursday, February 08, 2007
I Never Knew
I really never knew that such things seemed too much to you.. and I'm sorry for not noticing.. I should have known that since we are an item.. but I guess I just completely ignored what you feel.. I really am sorry for not realizing that I am completely hurting you.. I really am sorry.. I really didn't knew.. sorry if I acted selfishly.. and completely forgot what you feel.. it wasn't your fault.. kasi pagsinabi mong fault, 'kasalanan mo', so yes.. it wasn't really 'your fault'.. it was.. our fault.. you just made a mistake.. pagsinabi mong mistake, 'pagkakamali'.. (yes.. you do know mistake and fault is different).. mhmm.. your mistake was.. you never told us anything.. you just let anger pile up in there.. and since you can no longer bare it.. you have already told me about it.. but the situation.. has somewhat.. already got out of hand.. and I'm sorry.. if I couldn't make you feel any better.. sorry.. if all I did was make it worst.. sorry.. I really didn't knew.. and yes.. 'not knowing' is not an excuse.. I should have known.. I should have felt it.. but then, you were oh so good at keeping it.. that I completely didn't notice.. sorry.. for making you feel bad.. I promise, I'll find a way to make you feel all better again.. that.. you wouldn't be all sarcastic once more.. and that.. you wouldn't feel pissed at me and the rest.. 'cause.. I know you noticed.. I was soo frighten.. when you suddenly burst out like that.. I'm so sorry.. for not knowing that your tears was all for that.. and I'm so sorry.. for not noticing.. that 'that' question was a hint for such.. sorry.. I really never noticed it.. I was too cold to know what you feel.. I was so stupid for not realizing.. and I'm sooo dumb.. for not knowing.. sorry.. sorry, if I let the situation get out of hand.. sorry.. if I was adding fuel to the burning fire.. sorry.. for being one of them.. sorry.. for not being there with you.. when you needed me somehow..
I never ever felt this scared.. and I was trying so hard not to cry.. but it was oh so frightening.. 'cause I never knew you were mad at me.. and I was so dense not to know.. I am sooo sorry talaga.. Daddy.. remember that time.. nung hindi ako naglaru ng basketball sa P.E.. you do know.. that I was somewhat trembling.. and I was trying so hard not to make my voice shake.. and I guess.. it somewhat worked.. but not to my brother.. my voice was shaking like 'ewan'.. and I'm glad he didn't ask why.. sigh.. pero.. you know what..? I was sooo fucking scared that time as well.. why..? Because when the game was forfeited.. and when I looked back at you.. I saw your awful upset face.. and from that.. I trembled with fear.. I promise.. I'll play basketball.. kahit magmukha na akong tanga nun.. I just.. don't want.. to see that 'upset' face once more.. 'cause it was really scary.. it really is..
I don't play basketball 'cause it's what I want.. it's to suit my comfortabilty.. I really don't care if I'll be able to get a failing grade.. but.. seeing an upset face.. it really made me.. feel.. sad.. and so bad.. soo yes.. I'll do anything.. not to see that once more.. I'll play.. so that.. I wouldn't feel the horrible feeling again.. and mostly.. I don't want to see your face like that.. sigh.. I'm sooo sorry.. for all the trouble I cause you.. and sorry.. for all the pain I give you.. I really wish you could forgive me.. and so with them.. I know.. you can.. it's just that.. you are so upset that.. you take things on your own.. but daddy.. I'm here.. what would my purpose be..? Will I be 'just' someone who'll watch you in pain? But.. I'll really like to be the 'someone' who'll make you happy.. I want to be the reason.. why you smile.. I may be all greedy and stuff.. but.. I want that.. but.. it's oh so impossible for me.. 'cause I never gave you anything but sadness..
Before I end this stupid meaningless post.. I want to tell you that.. you're not what you think we mean to say.. you're not possesive as well.. prolly.. it's just because I don't show it.. but I'm more like it.. daddy.. WE ARE SO SORRY, FOR MAKING YOU FEEL LIKE THAT.. we shall try to change things.. and make you feel right again.. so don't worry too much.. I want you to be happy.. 'cause you don't deserve such sadness.. sigh.. sorry again..
RULES
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ORE WA ONNA JANAI
Watashi wa Althea desu. A normal otaku.
I'm happy to have friends which will last forever, and I'm hoping for a longer relationship with my Anata.
Hope this upcoming new life will be a lot more wonderful than my past few years. Hoorah for college!
Let's create more memories together. Zutto zutto.
P.S WATASHI WA ONNA DESU! ^^
I CRAVE FOR
i'll write it down in the death note;
Digital Camera
Death Note Live Action
Summer Tour 2007 Final Time: Kotoba no Chikara DVD
To set foot in Japan with my TOMODACHI
Death Note
Hapoo Memories
Finish College
NIPPON ARTIST
TOMODACHI
Anno Meg
Little Meggy
XD Ryan
Arekixu Leks
Jethro
Jenny-chan
Miggs
Jizelle
Queens
Suicidal Imo
Kimmeh
EXITS
KILL THE SILENCE
KINOU
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MUSIC IN MY HEART
CREDITS
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