Love Situation _________________________________________________

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Fuu~

Hahaha.. I can't say that this is the first day of that 3 nights and 4 days trip/stay to Baguio. And honestly.. kahapon ko pa cia namimiss.. I'm scared.. TT^TT But he did say that I should not worry.. let's see where this faith would lead me..

Anyhow.. I was planning not to sleep, since that.. I know he'll be off at 4:00 am or something.. and that he has to wake up at 2:00 am. It was already 12:00 am that time, and my eyes were getting heavy.. I tried to read but it was making me a lot more sleepier, I tried to listen to some loud music but it never worked. Next thing I knew, it was already 4:30 am, and that I slept for 4 hours.. shit! It made me all teary.. for.. I was planning to go down stairs and call him up at around 1:50 am and tell him to take care of himself.. but, my stupid eyes were so freakin' tired. I cried for 30 minutes.. and tried to stop.. I thought of things that would make me laugh.. like his pokah-pokah-pokah thing.. but yes.. I was sooo pissed that I cried even more. All I wanted to do was to say good-bye and that he should take care of himself, but no, my plans were all ruined.

I didn't get to sleep anymore.. for I was busy thinking. I was counting how many hours have passed.. next thing I knew, it was already, 10:00 am. I was thinking for 6 hours.. mei god.. XD Haha.. and there, my brother woke up and do his stuff.. woke mommy.. and they all went down. I was alone up stairs, thinking of a way to talk to him in Baguio. And yeah.. my brother called me and told me that Lei's at the phone. There, I discovered, that he himself was also trying not to sleep, since yeah.. he was also planning to call Carla before she leaves, but also failed to do so. I left the phone at 11:30.. ate and clean the table. The phone rang (11: 45 or something) and to my surprise.. it was Daddy Shams. (Never been happy) Yeah, he told me that.. he was there na, at Baguio. He said the sweetest and the funniest words/thing.. for a moment. And yeah.. he has to eat na. I felt a little owkay.. knowing that, he's safe and fine. So I went on to daily routine. And yes.. kanina lng.. he called.. XD weeeeeeeeee~ I am sooo hapoo.. it was only for a 5 minute or soo talk, since they're going somewhere, and, yes, I am fine? panatag? secure? that he is not flirting with anybody, Jethro there told me sooo.. and I could not believe that, he knew that I told Faus to tell Lampy to watch him for me.. XD Hahaha~

Lolness~ He was disappointed.. knowing that I don't trust him daw.. pero.. all I ever wanted was to know if he will or not, and.. that I wanna know if he's owkay.. DX But, yeah.. XD Let it be.. all I want is him to come back soon.. I miss him soo muchie.. TT^TT

---------------------------- 1:50 pm

He called again, (2 minutes ago.. saglit nga lng.. pero.. LOL) he told me that, he is there na.. at the place where they are to sleep.. XD LOL.. I miss him.. TT^TT

----------------------------

I am extremely pissed.. nagawa niya akong iwan dito.. TT^TT.. pero.. yeah.. it's owkay.. he sounded like he was having fun.. and yeah.. master and I were feeling the same thing.. shit.. we feel sad..

----------------------------

He called kanina.. around.. 6:45 - 7:30 pm.. I could not remember the time clearly though.. LOL.. maybe.. master was right.. hearing his voice only makes me miss him even more.. arghness. This is killing me.. TT^TT

----------------------------

Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional

Breathe in for luck, breathe in so deep.
This air is blessed, you share with me.
This night is wild, so calm and dull.
These hearts, they race from self-control.
Your legs are smooth as they graze mine.
We're doing fine, we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me,
So won't you kill me, so I die happy?
My heart is yours, to fill or burst,
To break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.

The words are hushed, let's not get busted.
Just lay entwined here, undiscovered;
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"Hey, did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close,
They can't hear, so we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me,
So won't you kill me, so I die happy?
My heart is yours, to fill or burst,
To break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.

Hands down, this is the best day I can ever remember.
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
The dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair,
That you twirled in your fingers.
And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late.
And this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet and the gate was locked,
So I jumped it and I let you in,
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist,
And you kissed me like you meant it,
And I knew that you meant it.
That you meant it, that you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it.

LOVE & JOY

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

*Wail*

Taawwness.. I won't be able to talk to him tomorrow.. up to sunday? or saturday? .. TT^TT I feel soo sad.. I will ubermiss him.. *tear* Demo.. what can I do? Wala naman di b? TT^TT .arghness.

Anyway.. I was happy at school.. so yeah.. it is an equivalent trade.. XD.. haha.. before Chemistry and after Filipino.. XD hahaha~ Master Lei did say that you were? are? serious.. and that I can trust you.. but the YMCA might kill me.. thinking that there would be soooo many people out there to be with you.. and you.. being maL, might or will probably end up hooking up with someone else.. but you did say.. na.. you won't do such.. so.. might as well have faith and see.. TT^TT (god.. something's wrong with my head..)

Haha.. so yeah.. XD I LOVE YOU~

-------------------------------------------

Days been shitty and fucked up
A man can change though
All it needs is the right motivation
Motivation like love and emotion
I may been a gangstah back in da day
Here , there , that's what they say
What d fuck do they care
This is mah shit..not theirs
Why the fuck you all up in mah face
When I never gave a damn bout your case
Where were y'all when she was home in tears
Where were y'all when she was alone facing her fears
I was there and I made her feel like she was worth something
I was there and I made her feel like she was my everything
Because she is my everything
Because y'all know nothing
Bout how I feel and my real intentions
They make all these fucking assumptions
Based on lies and hallucinations
They don't know me as well as you do
They don't know you as as well as I do
Talking on the phone till' 6 in the morning
We walking all alone just chilling
Sharing stories and just being real
She was always there for me
As I was always there for her

I love you girl.. truly..
You are one in a million lady
I know that you do love me too
I know that this will last
I promise you baby
Past is past..I am a changed man

*I don't care who you are, where you're from, don't care what you did, as long as you love me~*

LOVE & JOY

Monday, November 27, 2006

Be Your Girl - Chieco Kawabe

Romaji Lyrics

baby, i wanna be your girl
baby, all i need is you

Anna ni mou soba ni ite mo
Konna ni mou ai sarete mo

Jikan wa mikata shite kurezu ni
Anata no kanojo ni narenai atashi

Sore de mo ii tte nan do mo omotta
Anata wo dareka to SHEA shite iru keredo
Sore ja iya da tte nan do mo naiteru "(i wanna) be your girl..."
Uso de mo kiyasume de mo atashi dake tte itte

KISU no masui kirete itaku naru
Anata wa mou kaetchau no?

Koko de namida wa hikyou da tte
Ha wo kuishibatte gaman shite iru yo

Sore de mo ii tte nan do mo omotta
Anata wo dareka to SHEA shite iru keredo
Sore ja iya da tte nan do mo naiteru "(i wanna) be your girl..."
Uso de mo kiyasume de mo

Ne onegai
Atashi no naka wa anata dake
Ai shite iru no wa atashi dake tte itte
Hoshii mono wa hitotsu dake tada anata no zenbu ga hoshii na

Kono michi no saki ni matte iru sekai
Nigezu ni tsuzuki wo kono me de mite mitai
Tatoe kore ijou kizutsuku to shite mo "i'm gonna be your girl!"
Zettai tomerarenai kono kimochi da kara ne

Sore de mo ii tte nan do mo omotta
Anata wo dareka to SHEA shite iru keredo
Sore ja iya da tte nan do mo naiteru "(i wanna) be your girl..."
Uso de mo kiyasume de mo atashi dake tte itte

baby, i wanna be your girl
baby, all i need is you

English Lyrics

Baby, I wanna be your girl
Baby, all I need is you

Even though you're with me so much now
Even though you love me this much now

Time isn't on my side
I can't be your girlfriend

Again and again I thought I was okay with that
I'm sharing you with somebody else, but
Again and again I cry knowing I don't want that, "(I wanna) be your girl..."
Even if it's a lie, even if it's just for my peace of mind, tell me I'm the only one

It hurts when the anesthesia of your kiss wears off
Are you leaving already?

Telling myself it would be cowardly to cry here
I'm gritting my teeth and holding myself back

Again and again I thought I was okay with that
I'm sharing you with somebody else, but
Again and again I cry knowing I don't want that, "(I wanna) be your girl..."
Even if it's a lie, even if it's just for my peace of mind

Come on, please
You're the only one inside me
Tell me I'm the only one you love
There's just one thing I want, I simply want all of you

I won't run away from the world waiting ahead on this path
I want to see for myself where it leads
Even if I get hurt even more than I have already, "I'm gonna be your girl!"
There's no way you can stop me, because this is the way I feel

Again and again I thought I was okay with that
I'm sharing you with somebody else, but
Again and again I cry knowing I don't want that, "(I wanna) be your girl..."
Even if it's a lie, even if it's just for my peace of mind, tell me I'm the only one

Baby, I wanna be your girl
Baby, all I need is you

LOVE & JOY

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Toboggan~

Haha~ Never been this happy in my entire life ^___________^ yesterday, it was mei mommy's birthday, and Daddy Shams came over to cause snafu. Yes.. walang magawa sa buhay. We, (dahil walang magawa) used the computer to kill time. Hours passed, and Master Lei called, looking for Daddy Shams asking if he could drop by at there house and come with him to buy SOMETHING. Lei came over instead, used the computer for an hour, and later on asked Shams to come with him to SOMEWHERE. They did tell me that they'll come back afterwards, and so they did. They came back with Lorenz, hohoho~ Cute little bro.. ^___________^

Nothing much to do, they played with the webcam instead.. yes.. O.o haha~ They were uberfunny, haha~ they made ubercute and uberfunny faces.. xD haha~ imagine, good looking guys at my house ^_________^ hohoho~ (Lucky meh~)

And sooo, yeah.. they stayed up to 8:30.. or something.. all we did was chat and make funny jokes. Plus, yeah, used the computer. Hohoho~ it was fun.. unforgettable ^______^

----------------------------------------------------

Anyways, you asked me why?
owkay then.. lemme tell you why.. 'cause:

you're a nice guy

you're cute

you're always here when I need your assistance

you're a funny person

you're a good friend of mine

you can understand me somehow

you make me feel comfortable when you're around

you're fun to be with

you're not a boring person

you make me feel okay

you take things lightly

you're serious.. (nga b?)

you show respect

you're an honest person.. (when really needed)

you know a lot about life

you're sweet

I LIKE YOU

I guess.. that's all I could say for now.. I could not think since my mind is still in a mess.. and I don't know what's the right thing to do anymore.. anyway.. thank you Mickey-sama..

LOVE & JOY

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Tawww.. TT^TT

I somewhat feel sad.. since yeah.. he would be gone for a while.. *sniffs* I'd be really down.. maybe.. for the next following days.. hope not.. TT^TT.. I am soo feeling like shit.. what's wrong with this crap?!? Shit.. there's this butterfly in my stomach.. it's soooo wrong.. >////>

Sigh.. waaaaaaaa~ I don't feel owkay.. that's the best thing to describe it all.. I am not owkay.. TT^TT.. yes.. I am not..

I feel so blah.. for some reason.. sigh.. >/////> Anyhow, yeah, let me forget about that thing first and worry about his trip.. which is gonna kill me.. TT^TT.. sigh.. I'm soo sorry people.. I feel like shit today.. TT^TT.. argh.. what's wrong with me? I never ever thought that it'll go this way.. you see.. I always had a crush in every school I transfer.. right.. and yeah.. none of those guys ever like me back.. and yes! This is the first time it ever happened! I could not believe it.. and sooo.. yes.. I feel like shit.. >/////> I really don't know what to do.. waaaaa.. TT^TT

Sigh.. enough.. I have more problems to fix before this shit.. and yes.. because of what he did and said.. I really got my concentration out of SCHOOL.. I would sleep and daydream more oftenly.. and yes.. it's going to get my grades low.. waaa.. what is wrong with me? I don't feel like my self anymore.. >////> I wish everything would stay FINE.. even for a little longer.. I don't really wanna waste this.. and I hope what he said wasn't a joke.. if it is, I would cry my heart and eyes out.. PROMISE..

NO LONGER UNREQUITED

LOVE & JOY

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Yes! Finally~ Happy Feet is here ^_________^

Yapooness of life! Hohohoho~ I do wish I could get to watch it.. since yeah.. my parents does not want to come with me.. TT^TT, I wish someone would invite me to come and watch.. nah.. maybe I'll just go and ask them to come, and when I have company.. I'll go tell mama that we would like to watch Happy Feet and that I wanna come. It's also that, I could buy her some present.. ^__________^

Sighness.. life has become quite boring.. I'm just glad that Bisco is here and gave me this happiness.. plus.. I have Death Note!! (Curse you Misa, though~) LOL. Hohoho~ but still, there is still this itzy-bitzy tiny little sparkle of happiness, and I do hope it last. I won't waste such opportunity.. and it's my little secret.. (I mean that thing about the opportunity.. ^__________^)

Hohohoho~ yes, nothing much happened at school.. it's just that, Mickey finally forgave me, and I thank him for that.. plus.. I still have Meg.. and yes, I would never forget Daddy Shams company.. hohoho~ last Thursday at our so called "play day", he kept me company.. since yeah.. I don't wanna disturb Meg while she plays and ask her to walk around with me.. hohoho~ I'm gonna get killed. Oh yeah, thanks for the Chuckie daddy~ ^________^

Yeah.. and it so ends there.. <3

P.S.
11/20/06 <---- cherishable.. yum~ cherry <3

LOVE & JOY

Monday, November 13, 2006

Today is not so good day, since that... I miss DN, I wanna watch more.. TT^TT.. sigh.. I can't wait for a school break.. school has been, uberboring, and I'm getting tired of the same thing all over again, at least we'll be having a play day on Thursday. Yeah.. sure.. *sigh*

I'm pretty much bored again.. unless I get to watch, sighness.. I miss DN and Ouran.. TT^TT.. sigh.. Nothing much happened today.. except that.. my online friend Llynn, finally fell inlove.. XD.. she told me that she didn't expect that it'll happen this High School year, and that.. that's the first time she ever felt it. Hohoho~ she's a funny lass, but I love her ^____________^ I'm sooo hapoo for her! It's sooo nice~

But yeah, that's THE ONLY GOOD THING FOR TODAY~ It was soooo damn boring!!!

Yeah.. bye..

LOVE & JOY

Saturday, November 11, 2006

LOLLIPOP~

Hohohoho~ Yes, I went to school this Saturday, we did our "parol" for a contest. We only stayed there for about 2 hours or so, since I was really bored. Only us four girls, Lian, Mark, Mickey, Kenneth, Jethro, Shams, Lampano, and Lorenz, came. We didn't eat the food that was prepared, instead Meg and I headed home around 12, yet, daddy told us that, we could pass at harizon, so yeah, Meg and I bought some stuffs. XD

When I got home, I read the book that I borrowed in the library, when I finished it, I went to sleep, (since I was sleepy) but suddenly, in the middle of my sleep, my mom woke me up, I heard knocks on the door. My mom told me that it was my classmates, so I went down to check who. I was still sleepy, so I guess I was kind mean to them TT^TT. I really didn't let them in, since, I would still like to sleep.. and yes, I owe them an apology.. so.. I'm sorry for the meaness, Carlei, Hutchinson Baby, Tilo, Daddy Shams, Demented Mickey, and Baby bro.. sorry.. TT^TT..

Please forgive me guys, I was still sleepy.. and my temper was kinda wrong.. so I forgot to let you guys in.. please don't get mad at me.. TT^TT

LOVE & JOY

Friday, November 10, 2006

Hohohoho~ I am Kira~ Yey! ^__________________^ Joy~

I love this ubersomuchie~ I'm sooo glad I am him.. XD Though our personalities do not much a lot.. we still have that 70% similarty.. XD.. LOL!! Happo~

Hohoho~
Anyways, I didn't went home directly after school, we went straight to Makati, somewhere there, since my dad was going to meet someone.. LOL.. Anyways, we stayed at greenbelt muna, me and my mom, while waiting for my dad XD..

Just that.. nothing much happened though.. I was pissed today, to be exact.. I'm pissed for an uberunknown reason.. (Kanina pa ako sa skul gnyan.. TT^TT)

LOVE & JOY

Thursday, November 09, 2006

LOL, I enjoyed this day a lot, you see, the so called "Friendship Force", came to our country, or more specifically, to our school. They were quite old, but that's not the point here, the fact that I got to skip my TLE and Filipino subject, yet, Miss Danilyn accused us for "cutting class", but we really didn't do such, for, Teacher Bem told us to roam around or to tag along. So, I do not accept the fact that she got mad at us, it does not make any sense.

Anyways, we got to sing a lot, Christmas songs though, and yeah, Sir Arman played the piano for us. The Friendship Force sang along. Rafael was, kinda happy, or quitely amazed to himself, for he got to dance. LOL. It's too sad that I didn't noticed, for I was watching Jiz and Carla.. XD..

And so.. that was the only thing that happened for teh day, that! made me happy. LOL.. we even got to eat free food, and drunk gulaman, freeness for the tour.. XD.. it was fun though.

P.S.

Meg cried yesterday, stupid Sir Eugene.. stupid bullentin board.. poor Meg.. TT^TT

LOVE & JOY

Sunday, November 05, 2006

MOA

Finally, I have set foot once more at MOA. I enjoyed my day, really.. it was fun eventhough we only stayed there for 5 or 6 hours. Since we arrived there at lunch time, we first ate at Anime, XD.. there songs were awesome, except that.. some are Voltes V. LOL.

After eating there, we then went to the Cinema.. (not IMax.. TT^TT), and watched "The Grudge 2". It wasn't scary, but it does make my heart go doki-doki. I, I mean, we, really didn't watch.. for we don't really liked the suspense (Meg, me and ate Melene), just hid and closed our eyes, and sometimes, peek a little. (Thinking of it makes me laugh.. LOL)

When the movie was done, we head next to the "Ice Skating Ring", I didn't went inside, we just watched Meg and ate Melene ski around the ring.. (while holding the thing at the sides.) Obviously, they don't really know how to ski, so it was an entertaining sight. LOL. While they were at it, me and my dad went to look for batteries, since I wanted to listen to my mp3, and so.. ended up at ACE Hardware, and forgot to take my wallet from mama. After buying it, I was bankrupt, since I didn't knew some of my money was hidden at mommy's closet.. since she found it in my bag.. LOL

So then, I now have my battery, I played it while walking, Meg and ate Melene were done, so we went off to look for Kuya June, we found him at ACE Hardware, and they just bought something in there, while Meg went off to buy food. I followed her, requesting for a lollipop.. but she didn't buy me one. So, I went off and told it to mama.. XD.. LOL. Mama, then bought us some lollipops. After that, we passed by an ice-cream stand "Scoop", and bought some ice-cream, it was yummy indeed, but the cone didn't really taste good.

And so, after the busy day, we rode the car and went to "Harbour Square", and there, we bought our dinner.. and yes.. went home.. LOL

I had fun, and when I got home, tae called and asked me what we did at MOA, like he cares.. LOL.. I really didn't tell him what we did.. and so.. after eating.. I am now here.. finishing this entry.. LOL

*School's up tomorrow.. how sad.. TT^TT.. I want more Ouran.. I miss it so much.. sigh.. daisuki Bisco~

LOVE & JOY

Friday, November 03, 2006

EGO

What makes it feel wrong.. is that I started to fall inlove, with something that can only be seen, but can never be with. I started to act fooly, and thought only for myself; ego. But who can ever undo this feeling of dejection? That when everything feels right.. you'll find out in the end, that it was all just a dream. That a person who would understand and tell who you are would come. That, a perfect life can be felt.. why would it all be gone.. when you start to open these eyes? That all you'll see.. is a turtle-clock pinned down on the wall.. and that everything.. is reality?

Why? Why do I have to hide my otakuness in front of people whom I know I could influence? Why do I act selfishly when I have fallen again? Why? Why did I even fell in love? Why is this feeling of joy can only be found in an object that I can never be with all my life? Why can it only remain in my memories? That I even have to look for it, so that this feeling of emptiness would be filled up again.

Why? Why were you my first love? That, I was so engrossed to you, that I forgot this world. The world wherein I am currently standing on.. the world where I move and live on.. the world where I found you.. why? Why can't I be where you are?

Loving you was the best thing I could yearn for.. I love you with my own free will, and yet.. you would love me back. Everyone who falls under your spell will never acquire unrequited love.

You never asked for us, but you would always return our cries, you'll be there to leave a smile on our face.. and you'll always make us cry in the end of every episode, but.. in every end there is always a new start, and that start, is where we discover a new one. Why is life, full of sorrow that is.. natural? why can't there be a sorrow that would touch the heart of the world? Why can't anime be real?

Anime, you've been my comfort on times when it felt like the world started to hate me.. but then, you're characters, contents, and lessons.. taught me, how to live a blissful life, even if I am already hanging in the end of a cliff, you gave me strength, and gave me enough courage to push myself to up.

I know, that when people would came and ask for your help, you will never reject.. for I know.. you were not given, that kind of ability. I am insane.. for I have fallen inlove, to such object.. that I can only see.. but cannot be with. But, I also know, that.. I wouldn't find, anything.. that can love me back, as anime did..

LOVE & JOY

Best of Both Worlds - Hannah Montana

You get the limo out front, oh
Hot styles every shoe every color,
Yeah, when you're famous it can be kinda fun,
It's really you and no one ever discovers,
In some way you're just like all your friends,
but on stage you're a star.

You get the best of both worlds,
chill it out take it slow,
then you rock out the show.
You get the best of both worlds,
mix it all together,
and you know that it's the best of both worlds.

You go to movie premieres, (is that Orlando Bloom?)
Hear your songs on the radio
Livin' two lifes is a little weird,
But school's cool cause nobody knows
Yeah you get to be a smalltown girl,
the big time when you play on the top.

You get the best of both worlds,
Chill it out take it slow,
Then you rock out the show.
You get the best of both worlds,
mix it all together,
and you know that it's the best of both,
Ya know the best of both worlds,
pictures and autographs,
You get ya face in all the magazines,
the best part is that you can be whoever you wanna be.

Yeah the best of both,
you got the best of both,
come on the best of both.

Who would'a thought that a girl like me,
would double as a superstar.

Wow! You get the best of both worlds,
chill it out take it slow,
then you rock out the show,
you get the best of both worlds,
mix it all together, and you know that it's the best.
You get the best of both worlds,
without the shades,
and the hair you can go anywhere,
you get the best of both worlds,
mix it all together, oh yeah,
it's so much better,
cause you know you got the best of both worlds!

LOVE & JOY

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Special Mention: Happy Birthday Lei~

Which World is Best?

We all live in a world full of real and impossible things; earth. No freedom, and everywhere you go, rules would always occur. It's been terribly, mind distorting, it's always like this, and always like that. Nothing ever change, life is always the same. Nevertheless, there are new gadgets to spend time on. I like a busy life if I enjoy what I am doing, but if you force me to do things I don't really like.. you'll never see effort. It's a very boring world indeed, but I, would like to change it. If only I have enough will power, and a brain that would help me out when I'm in trouble, I'll make this world different. A world that'll be alot more fun and peaceful. But hey, just like what I told you earlier, this is earth, we are not on Pluto - Earth to Thea, hear me? - It's way too impossible, life is full of impossible things, unless you spend your 30 years of living just to look for it. It's way too troublesome.

Haha. But hey, it's earth we're talking about here. You have to do your best to reach your goal/s. It's just like what they said, "There are two things in life, one is to get what you want, and two is to enjoy it. But only a few got to achieve number two." Haha. Tell me about it, I never enjoyed what I have, except my life, my family, and my friends. But if it's about material things, I'll never achieve two. Since the things I like are more of digital technology stuffs, and they always update.

So yeah, we've heard about earth. Now, let us talk about our "dreamland", the land we always dream of O.o.. In my set of mind, I always daydream about me, being a part of an anime. (Which is, yeah, JUST A DREAM!) There, in the anime world (watch one on TV to know what's like in the anime world), nothing is impossible. You have magic, friends, guys, girls, the life you want, whatever it is, you are on control. But yes, in every episode, the heroine or the hero could get in trouble, (which is also in the real world), but in the anime world, there is always a brave hero who would always risk his life just for you. (A stalker? No.)

In anime, you can have a robotic boyfriend who is dropped-dead-gorgeous; in the anime world, you can be filty rich; in the anime world, you can have magic; in the anime world you can be happy; in the anime world, you can ask someone to kill the person you hate; in the anime world you can bring the dead back; in the anime world, you can have anything you want. Haha, no wonder I always cry when I see the characters in an anime happy.. 'cause I could not find such happiness here.. if a character cries, someone would always understand. Someone would always be there for them, someone would try to open up the shadowy gate you always kept close. Why? Why is it like that? Why isn't reality like that..

Haha. Someone please wake me up.. maybe, I've been thinking so much about anime, and the earth. That it came to the part I started comparing.. but ever since then.. I was never happy.. 'cause I wanna live.. with the anime characters I love..

Otaku you may say, sure, you can say that, but people, I am looking for a shelter with people who could love me and understand me the way Haruhi, Tohru, Miaka, Ao, Sakura, Ed, Ayako, and the rest do.

I do know myself that none of you appreciate me, I already knew that, ever since I came to this world. From Meg, and my family, can I only feel affection. Perhaps, I just have to wait and see, and stop asking hideous stuffs.. ne?

So.. help me think.. which world is best..

LOVE & JOY